Gentleness as an Expression of Real Strength

Below, there's a video of a figure to whom I sometimes enjoy listening.  I was at first somewhat suspicious of this guy.  Perhaps he was just one more charlatan posing as a master or guru figure.  However, I've found he has a unique and unusual perspective.  He often surprises me with his replies to intellectual, social, or personal questions which he's asked to consider.

In this case, he's speaking about the quality of gentleness, which in today's world is usually misconstrued as weakness.  I thought that in this video he clearly articulated an alternative interpretation of that quality.

I'm going to draw a strange parallel.  Many years ago -- perhaps 25-30 years ago -- I was reading an interview with, of all people, Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones.  Keith's reputation as rock and roll's "bad boy" precedes him wherever he goes.  However, in this interview, he was explaining to the interviewer that when the Stones began touring the United States in the mid-sixties, Keith got to meet all the old black blues musicians whom he worshipped, and to whom he'd long been listening.

Then he made an extraordinary observation:  he said, "All the really strong ones are gentle."

Listen to that statement.  Keith was observing this: real strength is gentleness. It has no need for aggression.  It understands human frailty.  It makes certain allowances for people's weaknesses.  Let's say that again: gentleness is real strength.  

And if you've watched Keith as he's aged, he's become a genial, gentle person.  So Keith, whether consciously or not, took that observation and made it a reality in his own life and character.  He integrated that quality and now lives by it.

It doesn't matter so much how you've lived.  It matters what you've learned.

Real strength is gentle.  If I think back on my life, my own failures in interacting with others came when I lost control of my momentary emotions and expressed anger, frustration, aggression -- that was an expression of my own personal weakness.  When I am able to maintain my balance -- in other words, when I no long expect or need anything from the other person -- then I am more apt to be gentle.

It should be said that there are also times in life that call for one to be forceful.  However, if that is the only card in your deck, then good luck.  You're going to alienate those people who might otherwise have been your allies.

Enjoy the video.